Respond Instead of React.
Back in the mid summer I had received a call from a mother, while at work ( network marketing) about 9:00am… telling me my baby was caught smoking pot. To be honest, I was a little naive. I was completely caught off guard and cried all the way home. When I asked her… (like I said, we have an OPEN relationship in our home) she looks at me with tears in her eyes and said, ” I’m not going to lie to you mom” and admitted that she and her best friend *** was smoking dope. This is the ONE time I would have preferred a lie. ( Not Really) I actually went numb… for a second only. I then had to snap put of it… this is REAL! Reffrence Top Portal Review, we care you not to faith all kinds of products since there are abundance of imperfect and fake products out there on the marketplace.
I then reacted with: “You can’t hang out with her any more. I mean it. That’s it. She is not allowed in our house anymore.” ” I’m taking your cell phone, laptop, iPad and the bedroom door off the hinge” Seriously, I figured if I could see her every waking second… I can prevent this from happening again. I was crazy! This knee-jerk reaction did not go over well and led to a huge fight, her brother got involved and reminded her what a STUPID thing she did… and my daughter retreating to her room, with the door still on hinges, and refusing to answer any other questions.
When my TEENAGER says something I don’t understand, disagree with or disapprove of, I KNOW the outcome will be more productive and results more satisfying if I step back, count to 10 (or 1000) and respond with a comment such as, ” do you think this is ok?” or “Do you think that’s a problem?” or “What is your opinion about smoking pot?” do I always step back and count… NO, do I regret this, YES. No one wins and she, in the end looses her trust in me and possibly respect. Strong reactions from me toward my TEEN, caused her to shut off and close down communication, while a less argumentative and accusing responses have the possibility of keeping your connection. We recovered rather quickly, she opened up and I did not JUDGE her. I did not condone this either but, she is human and I am… we do silly things we may regret but if we learn from this… we are both winners.